


I Could

by AmelieofK



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Oneshot, doubleb - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:14:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21615895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmelieofK/pseuds/AmelieofK
Summary: Jiwon falls in love with his best friend.
Relationships: Kim Hanbin | B.I/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Comments: 10
Kudos: 67





	I Could

**Author's Note:**

  * For [revolvingbobby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/revolvingbobby/gifts).



> I suck at this pairing, but hey, no one needs to know. Will consider a sequel if the Tendae fancam reaches 1 million by December 22nd this year (2019)

Jiwon often wondered what Hanbin would do, if Jiwon just spun him around, slung him over his shoulder and carried him out of the studio.

Where on earth would Jiwon bring him though? Anywhere, but here.

Upon a bed of crimson roses perhaps; Hanbin’s fair, pale skin like snow against the all that red. Lazy eyes hooded with want, nostrils flared, trying to inhale through a fog of desires and his lips slightly parted, framing moans of pleasures, as Jiwon rendered him helpless with all that passion he has kept reined in for almost four years. It was a tempting imagery, this Hanbin plundered by this Jiwon except, Hanbin was not a fool easily moved by romantic, passionate notions.

Between them, there was only the comfort of friendship and camaraderie that had began when they started training together. What did Hanbin know about fifteen year old, Kim Jiwon, who saw him on television when he debuted with Indian Boy at fourteen and thought he had fallen in love? Would Hanbin have an inkling of sixteen year old Bobby, face pale, sitting on a plane, clutching a duffel bag full of his belongings to his chest, thinking of the mother he left behind because he would finally meet the love of his life?

No. Jiwon could barely hold his true feelings when it came to Hanbin. To him, his world centred upon only providing Hanbin with happiness, even if it meant sacrificing his own.

Hanbin was deep in the throes of being in love with music. He was mated to the process of creating, composing, structuring tunes and rhythm that Jiwon only existed once Hanbin was done yelling him into the shape dictated by his glorious dreams of melodies. Jinhwan was probably right when he extolled that the only way to get Hanbin’s attention is if you were as passionate about music as he himself was, because it was his world and his alone. Anyone planning to occupy a space within the same said world would have to contend sharing his heart with the perpetual entity that were Hanbin’s musical masterpieces.

Hanbin remained a fascinating star who shone into his own world, only sharing his brilliance at his own choosing. Such was Hanbin’s dedication to his music.

Initially, Jiwon did not even mind playing second fiddle to it. After all, it was quite obvious that Hanbin was meant for a greatness which went way beyond their collective dreams as a group.

When Hanbin crawled under the covers naked, his body cold as ice, trying to draw the warmth from Jiwon’s own body, the older boy had allowed it. When Hanbin demanded kisses because it felt as if his mind had froze over into a terminally long winter spiel, Jiwon had placed his arms around that lithe, but muscular frame, trying his damnedest to transfer all the heat from his lips to Hanbin’s icy ones desperately trying to melt the ice away. Still, Hanbin shivered, even when Jiwon sheathed into him, hoping to distribute all the radiance from his body into the freezing storm Hanbin was seemingly locked in. While Jiwon continued thrusting into him, as he invoked Jiwon’s name with fevered pitch, Hanbin's body remained as persistent as a blizzard; cold and unrelenting.

Yet, Jiwon had been allowed the privilege of witnessing the softer side of him. The one, who whines like a delicate child and insists on sitting on Jiwon’s lap, seeking warmth again, probably. Not that Jiwon never tried to fend him off. Hanbin could be clingy at the drop of a hat. Lengthy arms, smooth like silk around Jiwon’s neck, limber legs trying to straddle Jiwon’s waist, irregardless of where they are. Hanbin would suddenly turn into a sloth calling him ‘ _hyung’_ over and over again right into his ear, as if the word alone emanating from between those lips would not cause his knees to crumble. He was not even heavy and Jiwon could carry him the whole day if he had wanted Jiwon to.

Jiwon remained by the sidelines. He became the friend with all the benefits to give and none to receive. He should have been contented with that, except he wanted, needed more. He wanted Hanbin to belong to him completely. He did not want to be an older brother or the dick Hanbin occasionally rode on, no. He needed Hanbin to pursue him the way Hanbin coaxed and romanced the tunes he drew from the secret sanctuary of his own mind. Jiwon knew it was futile, of course.

And because he had no other way to vent his frustrations or even capture Hanbin’s attention, Jiwon began to write as well. Hanbin loved each and every one of his works. For a moment, Jiwon was overjoyed, riding a high of Hanbin welcoming him into that magical world of his where notes just seem to envelope him in a warm embrace like some blessed child. Then slowly, Jiwon began to realise that Hanbin's music was the bitch he could never compete with. Hanbin was enslaved to her as Jiwon was to him. 

Hanbin was like the man on the moon, thriving on his loneliness and alone-ness, only descending when his desire for human contact became an affliction. He partook in the normal world like a bright-eyed, innocent child of winter, permeated by a chill. Yunhyeong had once said that when he was deep in his world, Hanbin was like the masculine version of the Snow Queen; ruthless, ice-cold and incapable of any emotion other than his stubborn anger, at wanting everything and everyone to be perfect.

~~~~~

Jiwon called him during one of their off days and all he got in answer was the voicemail. A call to his home was futile as well. His mum told Jiwon that Hanbin left the house early in the morning. He was apparently meeting Donghyuk to consult him on the choreography for his next masterpiece. Jiwon rushed down to the agency, surprising even the security guys by how early he was. He had smiled, joy filling his heart as he jogged towards the practice room. He could already see the lights on inside and he had barged in, calling Hanbin’s name except he had barely ended the second syllable before it died on his lips.

Jiwon blinked, trying to swallow the unbelievable lump lodged in his throat. His head had turned to the side, because he was trying to fathom the sight of Donghyuk, back to him, pinning Hanbin against the full-length mirrors at a darkened corner of the practice room. One familiar pale leg strapped over the back of Donghyuk’s thigh. Even in the confusion, Jiwon could imagine the coldnessin that dangly limb. Donghyuk had wanted to turn at the sound, but Hanbin had pulled his face back to him.

“It’s nothing. Just keep doing this. Please, Donghyukie. Don’t stop.” Hanbin’s voice, small and begging, resonated in the semi-darkness of the room and Jiwon had retreated quietly, into a disappointment he had no words for.

If Jiwon had expected an explanation, none was provided at all. Jinhwan was the only one who seem to have a prelude to what had happened. Even Donghyuk remained clueless, continuing about his daily routines as if Jiwon had not caught him fucking the love of his life in the very place Jiwon had first met him.

“You know Hanbin is clueless about how our world works, right?” Jinhwan caught him in the kitchen two days later, chewing on cereal miserably because while he was heartbroken, Jiwon was not the type of person who skipped his breakfast.

“What?” Jiwon piqued, surprise by this sudden declaration from the mathyung.

“Hanbin. If you love him that much. If you want him to be exclusive for you. Tell him.” Jinhwan explained in words that were easy to understand for Jiwon’s befuddled mind.

“ _Hyung_ , are you trying to explain in his defense? Because, I would have a hard time believing you.” Jiwon countered, gritting his jaw. The vision that he simply could not erase was already plaguing him and having Jinhwan, of all people, trying to justify it, was simply aberrant to this feeling of being betrayed. Jinhwan walked towards him, pinching Jiwon’s nose quite suddenly between the hook of of his pointer and middle fingers. Jiwon cried out in pain, tears smarting his eyes, even as Jinhwan released him, his baby face seemingly filled with the kind of mischief Jiwon would rather not affiliate himself with.

“I’m not making excuses for anyone. You seem to have figured your heart out, so I’m just doing you the favour of letting you decide whether you want to save yourself from either taking the plunge into that damned cold water or to avoid the winter entirely. So listen up and carve this into your mind, Hanbin lives in a world of his own and I don’t mean this rhetorically. I mean this literally, as in Hanbin truly has a world of his own, therefore he is unaware of how our world works.” Jinhwan intoned. “When he does make his way into our world, he has to form some sort of connection with it and this is probably the only way he knows how.”

“So you're saying, he achieves it by fucking every warm body he encounters?” Jiwon contended, already preparing himself to push Jinhwan’s hands away, if it came up to pinch his nose again.

“In a way, yes.” Jinhwan exhaled tiredly. “He needs an intrinsic connection with every person he works with and he simply believes that by allowing himself, pardon the pun, the pleasure of getting to know someone in the literal sense, helps deepen this level of communication and understanding between them. It’s really as simple as that.” Jinhwan explained.

“And you suggest…” Jiwon was slowly coming to his senses now.

“I simply believe that you should just make it obvious to him how you feel and that if you were to proceed, he will have to put in the effort of being a steady and loyal partner.” It was amazing how easy Jinhwan had broken down all the complications in Jiwon’s heart into this one sentence and even more ridiculous, how Jiwon was also completely sold into this idea that Hanbin was capable of being more than his friend or his family.

_Did Jiwon believe they were soulmates?_

_Absolutely._

_Can Jiwon still trust Hanbin even with all that he has had to experienced the past few days?_

_Possibly._

What was left now was only to decide how and when he would ask Hanbin to be his other half, in the most convincing manner. After countless days of careful consideration, Jiwon decided it was best to keep it low key and simple. He asked Hanbin out for coffee at their favourite place near the studio.

Jiwon ordered Hanbin’s favourite iced chocolate and a butter croissant, deciding that his stomach was too unsettled to even eat or drink anything, not with the butterflies fluttering in his tummy.

“Aren’t you having anything?” Hanbin had asked when he saw Jiwon coming back with only one drink and one pastry on the tray. Jiwon shook his head, his hands trembling as he placed the tray. Hanbin noticed it right away and gazed at Jiwon in alarm. “Ya~are you okay? Are you feeling sick? You’re trembling!” Hanbin exclaimed in alarm. He touched Jiwon's forehead and grabbed his hands, which had been on the table and Jiwon quickly shook his head dismissively, feeling disappointed when Hanbin withdrew his terminally cold hands from Jiwon’s own toasty ones.It was the first time Hanbin had initiated a spontaneous touch and it made Jiwon's heart beat double time. 

“I’m not hungry, that’s all.” He muttered and Hanbin nodded, sipping on his iced chocolate, eyes still latched onto Jiwon's face innocently. He was like a large lumbering baby sometimes and it killed Jiwon to know that Hanbin did not belong to him.

“Alright. I need to go back to the studio in fifteen minutes. I’m meeting Junhoe and going over the lyrics with him for the latest song. I need him to spill his guts and emotions over this one. His voice would be gold on it.” Hanbin shared with a wistful look on his face and somehow Jiwon found himself panicking with jealousy against the thought that Hanbin was going to have one of those visceral connection with another member.

“I asked you out for coffee, because I needed to talk to you.” Jiwon quickly confessed. He was wringing his hands under the table and his eyes kept glancing at Hanbin and then the table, as if just gazing at him for too long would cause Jiwon intermittent blindness or something. Hanbin looked at him, grinning expectantly. It was that lopsided smile, the one with the little dimple on the side of one cheek, that trademark ‘everything’s going to be alright’ grin and Jiwon’s absolute kryptonite. Jiwon sighed loudly. “ I was wondering if…if you would like to be more than just my best friend?” Jiwon asked, his lips quivered slightly, just hearing those words pouring from his mouth.

For just a moment, Hanbin’s face went blank and then the sides of his eyes began to line with those pleasant creases and that exceptionally wondrous, dimpled smile rose from that face like the onset of a majestic sunrise.

“ _Hyung_ , are you asking me to be in a relationship with you, like, officially?” He asked, that smile so incandescent and very much like a lake that had formed in the middle of a dry desert. Hanbin placed a hand over Jiwon’s and amazingly, this time, his heart folded over just like the sudden turning of the season. Hanbin’s hand was warm, very much like the midday summer afternoon siesta, so reminiscent of hammocks and pina coladas. Jiwon returned that smile with one of his own. “You know that what you saw in the practice room was just me dry humping Donghyuk, right? I don’t even know if you actually notice, he didn’t have his pants down?” There was a sparkle in his eyes, which over the years Jiwon recognized, only meant that he was up to mischief.

“Wait…you mean? So Donghyuk and Jinhwan…” Jiwon was saying now.

“And I’ll be meeting Junhoe today so…” Hanbin’s smile was now a full of mirth. “I was planning to go through the whole group to see how high your tolerance level for my shenanigans would be. Kim Jiwon, you cannot be such a paragon of virtue and patience.” Hanbin revealed, his whole body now shaking with laughter.

“ _AH_!” Jiwon yelled, realising everyone was in on the joke, except him. “But wait, what does this mean?” Jiwon asked now, eyes wide now, latched upon Hanbin’s exuberant countenance with a wistful, hopeful look awashed across his face.

“It means, what took you so long, Jiwon-ah.” Donghyuk interjected, slapping the back of his shoulders, startling them both from the spell of discovering the truth. Jinhwan’s cheery face beaming over Donghyuk’s shoulder made Jiwon realised they had somehow sneaked in and had been eavesdropping on this whole conversation.

“Surprise!” Jinhwan announced. “Sorry for pulling your leg, but you really asked for it. We had to really plan everything with Hanbin’s _eomma_ as well.”

“Your mum was in on this?!” Jiwon asked, realising the effort they had taken to ensure he had been completely deceived. Hanbin nodded and then laughed.

“I’m really sorry, _hyung-ah_.” Hanbin apologized, but Jiwon was already laughing in disbelief.

“If it means you saying yes to me, you all can keep pulling my leg till it comes off.” Jiwon gladly stated, standing up, opening his arms to Hanbin, who immediately jumped out of his seat, walking into that embrace with happiness plastered across his face.

“Does this mean I can look into your eyes, whenever I want without you looking away?“ Hanbin asked. Donghyuk and Jinhwan started making gagging noises and Jiwon made a show of wanting to kick them. They rushed, moving away quickly to order drinks, laughing as they did so. Jiwon looked into Hanbin’s beautiful eyes filled with true, genuine love for him and he nodded affirmatively in agreement. “And, can I also put my hands on your butt and you won’t flinch away?” Hanbin asked again, cupping one hand on Jiwon’s derriere.

“My love, I could even kiss you in public if you want me to.” Jiwon said, lowering his face to welcome Hanbin’s smile against his lips.


End file.
